 Love isn't about how much you can get, but how much you can give; it's not about giving up, but holding on; it's not about how you say, 'I love you,' but how you show the one you love that it's true.
::: ::: ::: IMPORTANT UPDATE ::: ::: ::: As of midnight Saturday, January 23, 2010, Fractured Mirror Radio has ceased to exist, at least for the time being. The main focus now, for me, is to turn FracturedMirror.com into a permanent memorial for Amy Copeland. To that end, the radio station is more than I can take care of right now. It's not entirely dead. It's just mothballed for now. I need to devote all my focus to creating and maintaining the memorial. That's what's most important to me. Thank you all for your many years of listening and thank you for your understanding!
Monday, February 8, 2010 I finally pestered the medical examiner's office long enough to tell me the final disposition of Amy's autopsy. The cause of death turns out to have been a heart attack. In my waiting for the autopsy findings, I had always imagined this as being some measure of closure, and while it is, to a degree, it also brings with it a whole new veil of sadness. My beautiful Amy was only 39. To be the victim of sudden death due to a heart attack was not fair. I miss her so.
Sunday, February 7, 2010 I realize this is the longest I've gone without updating Amy's memorial. This past Friday evening Atlantic City got hit with a "blizzard of the century", and the next 30 hours found us in the storm's sights. We got hammered with snow and wind and the power went out so often that being online was something that just wasn't going to happen. For some reason the internet connection was as stubborn as it could be the following day (Sunday) which kept me offline for most of it as well. But it's not like I'd been avoiding Amy's memorial. It's all I can think about these days.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010 I know, I know, it seems like I've gotten a little slack in my updating duties here. But the truth is, I've been transcribing a lot of Amy's shorter fictional works for upload to a special page here and I'd somehow imagined the whole process to be easy because I'd still be spending time with Amy, or at least thoughts she'd put to paper. It's not easy. Not in the slightest bit. The process brings whole new versions of pain to the surface for me. I hadn't expected that. So I transcribe some and then need to stop. I wish I could just zip right through it because her mother really wants to read her daughter's writing and I've made that my job ... to ensure that becomes reality. I'll keep at it until I'm done, but the process will take time. And she had a lot of shorter pieces, so that makes it just that much more bogging for me. But it'll get done. I promise you that.
Sunday, January 31, 2010 Well, here we are at the end of the first month without Amy in it. My personal misery has only just begun. However, many miraculous things have happened since Amy's passing, and my aim is to ensure that this website and the memorial continue on in perpetuity as a means of creating a home for those miraculous things for others to read and get to know Amy. Since today is January 31, what I've decided to do is transfer each individual entry here to an archived page which will then be maintained forever while still allowing for new material to be published on the home page. So after tonight, new items will be published on the home page, but all past items will be published on corresponding archived pages, such as January 2010 being posted at its new page in the archive section. Big plans are in store for the future of the Amy Copeland Memorial. Over the next month you'll notice drastic rebuilding of the website itself, both in appearance and layout, but none of the content will be changed. Many more personal memories will be posted in a new section called "Memories of an Angel", both personal memories of mine and those of Amy's family and friends. Trust me when I say this; all of the memories I post will show you just how amazingly kind, giving and caring Amy was. Many will be downright hilarious memories, but there will be some with a more somber tone as well. Those will show you a side of Amy that most people never saw, but they'll also show you to what lengths she would go in order to make sure those she loved and cared about knew it without question. While I'm thinking of it, it is in my plans to publish Amy's debut novel, Nighttime, here in its own special section as well as in print for the entire world to read. She was proud to have finished the writing process for that book but she never thought it was worthy of being published. Such is the life of a novelist ... you deal with a great amount of self-doubt, and Amy was no stranger to it. However, having edited the manuscript myself, I can tell you honestly that it's not only worthy of publishing but it's also of the same caliber as many novels of the vampire genre in which Nighttime was written. Her dream was to have it published, though she never found the nerve to attempt it, always worried about what people would say and even more worried about rejection. It is now my dream to ensure it gets published through a major publisher. In the meantime I will publish it here and let you be the judge about its worthiness of publication. Rest assured that every penny earned from sales of Nighttime will go straight to the Amy Copeland Memorial Fund ... an actual non-profit organization with such status through the Internal Revenue Service ... and every penny can and will be accounted for at all times. So your purchases will be used to further the memorial. Period. Amy had also written many other pieces of work too, and I intend to publish all of the shorter ones right here on the website ... over time. Having to transcribe all of her work from longhand on legal pads to word documents will not be done fast and it will not be easy. Each one I type out will open up a whole new series of emotions I'm quite sure I'll have to deal with. However, it's something I feel compelled to do. Amy wrote as a means of reminding the world that love and kindness and compassion are more than words ... they are perspectives. And I now own all rights to those works, and I could never keep them from the world. Thank you for visiting the Amy Copeland Memorial and I welcome you back whenever you feel the need to stop by. Amy would be proud to have you here.
Devoted wife, loving daughter, darling mother
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